I loathe small talk. I hate the artificial politeness that seems to pour out like we owe the world good manners. I detest the fake interest people think they are expected to show when they meet someone. I despise the bland generic questions that people ask that aren’t expected to go any deeper than the surface. We all know they don’t want the real answer; they want the safe one. It’s almost as if it’s hard coded into our DNA to be greeting robots.
- See living being
- Walk over to living being
- Say “Hello”, “Hi”, “Good Day”, etc
- Ask question “How are you?”, “How’s life?”, “How’s it going?”, “Having a good day?”
- Wait for answer
- Smile as living being communicates to show interest
While the person being approached has to reciprocate the plastic interaction. This to shows that they also have good manners. As a result, the delusion that everything and everyone is happy living in a stepford world is allowed to go on another day.
- Say “Hello”, “Hi”, “Good Day”, etc
- Answer question “Good, you?”, “Fine, you?”, “Great, you?”, “It’s going well, how’s yours?”
- Wait for answer
- Smile as living being communicates to show interest
Don’t get me wrong, I am just as guilty of it as the next person. But it doesn’t stop me from wondering how did this become the norm. How did we go from don’t talk to strangers to greeting every person we come across? Why do I force myself to go thru this unwanted act every freaking time? These interactions often leave me drained and unsettled. Did I do my part in this ritualistic exchange? Was I “normal”? Did they see my weaknesses? Did I keep all my skeletons and subscriptions tightly locked away? Did I keep them on the surface? Did I make them uncomfortable? On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the best how did I do? Did I get a gold star?
I sometimes wonder what would happen if I answered these questions honestly. If when someone asked me how I was I answered what I was actually thinking. “Please don’t talk to me.” “I am not OK.” “I am struggling.” “This is hard for me.” “I am freaking out.” “Why are you asking me that?” Would they show concern, or think I needed to be modified? Would they understand that I don’t people very well? Would they look at me and judge me for allowing my cracks to show? Would I make them uncomfortable by deviating from the predesignated programming that has been ingrained in all of us? Would they even notice my glitch in the matrix?
And before you tell me to stop overthinking, and to just be honest in my authenticity. Look at our society today. It’s a hypocritical mess of lip service that thrives off of the struggles of others. It’s OK to not be OK as long as you still act within the norms. Feel free to feel deeply as long as your deepness doesn’t bring anyone down. Show your internal ugliness as long as it’s covered in makeup. Live your truth as long as it doesn’t impact my truth. Be perfectly imperfect, but hide your imperfections. Have all the beliefs that you want, as long as they match mine.
I see the underbelly of the hollow acceptance that finds it’s way across my social media feeds. The verdicts waiting to be passed. I recognize the pressure of expectation that is always in my periphery. It keeps me to my outwardly stepford programming, while inside, I am just a glitch in the matrix.
shitoday.com 